Hi my name is Ashling, and I am drunk.
Hi my name is Ashling, and I am a woman in long-term recovery. Ah, that sounds better.
Let me clear something up though, I am not ashamed of being an alcoholic, you can actually read my full story here: Watershed Ashling, I Am An Alcoholic, but for some reason it has an effect on others when they find out. When I first tell someone that I am an alcoholic in recovery, I usually get that uncomfortable look and body shift as if they are trying to figure out how to respond to me. I say it with a smile, too, so that just adds to the confusion on how they should treat the situation. In some cases, people have given me props congratulating me on my sobriety only to push me out of their lives later for one reason or another.
You see, it's because there is still this lingering stigma of who and what alcoholism is. Usually I get the heartfelt apologies for the hell I have to endured followed by how difficult this must be for me on daily basis. The enduring agony of having to continue the battle of overcoming alcoholism for the rest of my life. Well sheesh, when you say it like that, why the heck would anyone stay sober?!
This brings me to my second point, I do not go to battle daily with my alcoholism. I do not fight the desire to drink and in many cases if you're drinking in front of me, it's more uncomfortable for me because I feel uncomfortable for you being uncomfortable, not because I want to drink. Alcoholism is a 3 part disease: mental, physical, spiritual. The physical cravings go away when I have had a full medical detox, the mental obsession is lifted when I work a full program of recovery, and my spiritual malady is addressed when I live my program of recovery. I choose to live my life by principles today and help others find their path to recovery. That is my experience and its not that I have to live this way of life, it's the fact that I get to. The miracle of recovery is that the obsession to drink gets lifted when you work it. So when people feel sorry for me, I simply say "you don't need to feel sorry for me, I've done that my whole life." hehe.
I am not defective or broken, I just suffer from the disease of alcoholism, just like someone who suffer from diabetes. Although not curable, it is treatable. I would like to invite you to treating the recovered alcoholic just like any other person, those of us in recovery are all around, and you may not even know it because we are just like you in every way, we just don't drink.
Hi my name is Ashling and I am a grateful alcoholic in recovery.
